How do you cope with sudden change? How do you feel when an event you have planned for is canceled at the last moment? When these things happen, I have been prone to getting angry. I have taken offense at the lack of prior notice, and I have even thought I was being taken advantage of. I also know that I have the option to make a different choice. If I can choose another emotional reaction, I can observe very different outcomes.
Today, I was to be part of a Korean Hanbok fashion show at the end of a beauty contest for older women. I rearranged my schedule, changed appointments, got a long overdue haircut, and did what I thought I needed to do to prepare for the event. When I got to the venue, I got an odd feeling. There was no one to direct people at the banquet room entrance. I was eventually guided to a staging area, but there was no staff there. I was directed to the stage. I had shown up for what I thought would be a 4 o’clock rehearsal, but it looked like the rehearsal for fashion show had not only begun, but was in fact practically finished. I spoke to a few people, and they spoke to others, and I finally learned that the group I had been assigned to was canceled from the event. The cancellation had been made the previous week, but no one had contacted me.
I could feel righteous anger begin to gather and threaten to take over my mind. I could hear myself beginning to say things like, “Isn’t it a bit late to be telling me about the cancellation?” Fortunately the music for the rehearsal was so loud that my first mumbled complaints may not have been heard. I could have chosen to do what I would have done in the past and demand both an apology and respect. I could have made a scene. I’ve done so in the past.
This time, I decided to stop talking and listen. At first, people were not impolite, but they were not really ingratiating either. I decided I could just allow things to unfold and let people do what they were going to do. I focused on finding things I liked around me. I tried to find blessings. I watched the people practice walking down the runway for what looked like the first time in their lives. I enjoyed their focus and the director guiding them. I imagined the traditional garb on them as they glided from one mark to the other. I appreciated the elegant beauty of the Crystal Banquet Hall with its tasteful decor and understated chandeliers on the ceiling. I spoke with a few people over the course of ten or twenty minutes, and they and I finally got ahold of the man who had invited me to participate in the first place. He was on his way, so I waited for him.
As I sat and looked at all of the lovely things around me, I started to feel things shift. They offered me dinner and a seat in the audience. I could feel my habitual resistance to their offers start to rise, but I not only let it pass, but appreciated what the people were doing for me. They decided to seat me near the back of the room with some professors from a graduate school at a different university, so I also appreciated that I would have the chance to meet some new people. The man who had initially invited me found me and apologized for the mix up. He looked as surprised by this situation as I had been. As he apologized, he mentioned he was doing something on TV next month and would invite me to participate. I felt the blessings rolling in.
They said that there was over an hour till the program began, so I might enjoy looking around the department store or something. I went to a coffee shop and started writing my experience while it was still fresh in my mind. As I enjoyed my coffee and wrote, I got a feeling something even better was coming. As I strolled back to the banquet hall, that feeling developed into the thought that I would be seated in an even better spot. When I got there, the man who had invited me to model took me up to the front of the hall to table three. I was in front of the judges very near the stage. I was introduced to several people and one of the beautiful contestants. She was wearing a very modern and sophisticated turquoise and bronze Hanbok which had incorporated some Hangul (the Korean alphabet) calligraphy. I enthusiastically praised her gown. A staff photographer took many pictures of me. There were even a couple of people I’ve met at other large scale competitions who came and said hello.
The meal they served us was elegant as well. The portions were moderate, which I appreciated, but it was a gourmet four course meal. Every course from the appetizer of blanched seafood over mozzarella cheese with sprigs of arugula, to a simple but rich winter squash soup and ending with a light but somewhat decadent berry mouse pastry was a delight. As the main course of a beef filet was served, the beauty contest began with the Hanbok fashion show. The women and men walking the runway were graceful and dignified; they seemed to float from place to place. I had a great view of everything. I enjoyed watching these women, most of them older than me, showing the beauty and refinement of all women of any age. I also enjoyed the audience. People were rooting for their grandmothers, mothers, sisters, cousins, or friends on stage. The observers were having a very good time. There was a baby at my table who was just delightful. His mother was reveling in her child as much as the show. His father looked three times as handsome with his pride and radiant smiles over his infant child. It was a lovely evening.
What started out seeming as a huge disaster turned out to be quite enjoyable. I delighted in an evening of fine food and beauty. I got the invitation to an awards event at the television station in December as well. All it took was a shift in attitude. All I needed to do was choose a new way of reacting and go with the current. I write this for myself and for you as a reminder of how our emotional state can affect our outcomes. It is said that allowing all to be as it is is the key to freedom. I’ve found it to be more than that. It is also the door to creation.
