We all want to live the intentional life. We want our lives to flow in the direction of our desires. One aspect of living intentionally became much clearer for me during my recent trip with my mother. We took a wonderful two and a half week trip that began in San Diego, California and ended in Orlando, Florida. No matter how well you plan a vacation and how detailed your preparations, the longer the trip is the more adaptable to unforeseen circumstances you need to be. How do you react when plans suddenly need to change or what you expected doesn’t happen? How do you feel when the plane you have boarded does not take off because of inclement weather? How do you react when the food you took a chance on ordering at a restaurant doesn’t looks a little too strange? The more intentionally we can live our lives, the more certain we can be that everything will work out for us, but intentional living is not only about what is to come. My recent travels have been an opportunity to learn anew that our experiences of the present moment and the past are also shaped by our intention.
There were many unexpected events during my trip. I discovered that an excursion I had booked had left without me. From time to time people around me started acting out negatively. My mother, for example, would get irritated or angry about one thing or another mostly because she felt she wasn’t in full control of what was happening around her. Even my return flight was a bit of a chaotic whirlwind of frequent changes. There were many times when I felt myself beginning to slip into a negative knee-jerk reaction to circumstances. I noticed that I was creating problems from what was happening. There were also times when I chose to live the moment intentionally. I chose to know that what was happening was right and good. I intended that what was occurring at the moment was for my good, and so flowed with it. At those times when I was able to allow myself move fully into my intention, I felt the intention realizing itself, manifesting in the moment. For example, when I knew that my tour group had left without me, I felt a moment of panic. I felt despondent thinking of the money I had paid slipping away from me. I felt anger and confusion start to reach up and clutch at my heart, but then I realized something. I realized that this was part of the adventure, and that everyone and everything was there for my greater good. So, I asked, I inquired, and I allowed things to happen with my intention. I needed to move quickly. I had to listen carefully and follow instructions, but I got to my group and missed nothing but some time strolling around a park near a restaurant. I ended up having a fabulous time with an excellent tour guide, and that day turned out to be one of my favorite days of my vacation.
On this trip, I also had increased awareness of how mercurial our memories of our past experiences can be. Have you ever noticed yourself saying that an event or experience had been good and then remembered telling some other people how difficult that same event or experience had been? Have you ever said that something was horrible and hurt you, and then heard yourself telling someone that you were glad you had had that experience because you were the better for it? Some of this can be marked up to an evolution in our interpretation of our past, but there are some events that we waver on; sometimes they seem good, and sometimes they seem bad. I realized the connection between intentional living and our interpretation of our past experiences while I was travelling. Our feelings about things that have happened to us can change quite a lot depending upon which aspects of the memories we focus upon. As a brief example, I noticed that I could fall into patterns of hyper critical evaluation when telling my mother about my experiences, whereas when I was alone or with travelers I had just met, I saw that I would paint glowing pictures of delight about the same topics. When talking with my mother, I would easily fall into habitual patterns of judgmental thought that were contrary to the life that I intend for myself. When am able to remain more conscious of my thought patterns, and I look back at the same past events through the lens of my intentions, I see and express an entirely different picture of my experiences. It is a picture of discovery, delight, and diversion. And it is all due to the intention of my perception.
On my trip home after my vacation, I watched a movie called “The Man Who Invented Christmas.” It was about Charles Dickens and how he wrote A Christmas Carol. It was an excellent movie, and it got me thinking about past, present, and future experiences. Intentional living is, of course, following the path of our desires into what we perceive as the future. We intend to live lives of joy, love, wellbeing, and awareness. We intend our vacations to be miraculous adventures of discovery. However, intentional living is equally about the past and perhaps even more about the present. Our intentions not only guide us but also shape and color our present experience and our memories. If we can keep this in mind, our understanding of intention will gain immeasurable depth and breadth.
